Friends With Your Mind:
How to Stop Torturing Yourself With Your Thoughts
Foreword by Scott Kiloby, author of 7 books, addiction expert, internationally recognized speaker
What can I say about Lynn Fraser and her work that you won’t discover for yourself in this book? She is a Senior Facilitator of the Living Inquiries, a methodology that I and my other Senior Facilitators created back in 2008 and have continuously developed and refined since then. Lynn has been an integral part of that development all along the way.
She is extremely skillful as a facilitator, and has a special set of skills for working with the mind and body around trauma and addiction. However, she understands how the mind and body work from the perspective of interior awareness regarding a whole host of conditions that one might experience including stress, anxiety, OCD and other obsessions, gender/sexual orientation and relationship issues, depression – the list goes on.
Although Lynn has advanced skills as a teacher, facilitator, meditation leader and trauma specialist, she knows how to simplify this kind of work so that it is accessible to anyone and everyone. She is a teacher in her own right, apart from the work she does with the Living Inquiries. Her skill set is so wide and varied that she can’t be pinned down with any labels.
She has experienced a profound recognition of present moment awareness and embodies it naturally. That’s the kind of teacher anyone would want, for if one’s teacher does not have the direct experience of what is being taught, true transformation just cannot happen.
Lynn is so valuable to me as a Senior Facilitator. When I have someone who needs work with trauma or some other issue but who cannot attend my Kiloby Center for Recovery in Palm Springs, Lynn is one of the first facilitators I consider referring the person to. I know that whomever I refer to Lynn, the person is in great hands. And you are in great hands now that you have this book in your own hands.
This book encapsulates Lynn’s ability to break down how suffering happens within our awareness. This is the kind of book that I truly love – one that is very simple and direct with easy to understand instructions that one can translate into his or her own experience almost immediately. I wish this book had been around when I first started being interested in mindfulness. It would have helped me along so much more quickly than other books that I used to read at that time.
We need more books like this, that truly break everything down in a simple way. You won’t find a lot of intellectualized pontificating here or complex theories. That’s because those kinds of things are not needed to learn to relate differently to our thoughts, emotions and sensations and dissolve our suffering. What is needed is concise, direct instruction and this book is full of that.
Lynn co-leads the Family Services Program at the Kiloby Center for Recovery. She has such a beautiful and peaceful soul. Working with her is a true delight. The families that work with her through my center are always grateful for her wisdom and guidance. I’ve sent the person who I love the most – my partner – to Lynn for sessions and it has helped him tremendously. He would be proud to give this endorsement himself.
What I invite you to do is take your time and really notice how Lynn is breaking down experience into its simplest parts and then really look into your experience to verify that she has given you a map to suffering and how to heal it.
I leave you in Lynn’s more than capable hands. Be good to yourself and sit with this book for some time, really soaking in what it has to say. I know you will be pleased with it! Lynn is being a bit modest with the subtitle. This book can do more than help you stop torturing yourself with thoughts. It can help you come to accept and love your entire experience.
Scott Kiloby, Founder of the Living Inquiries and CEO of the Kiloby Center for Recovery, December 2016
Endorsement by Dr. Kay Vogt, Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Lynn Fraser is a teacher of teachers of the highest order. She has drawn from her own healing journey to write a clear and concise “owners manual” for the Mind. Born out of her own extensive breathing and meditation practices, Lynn explains how to heal yourself from anxiety, trauma and just the everyday experience of believing our stressful thoughts. This book provides easy to follow explanations and instructions and is essential reading for anyone interested in true liberation.
Endorsement by Colette Kelso, Direct Pointing Inquiry
Lynn Fraser and I have known each other for many years. It has been a marvel to witness how her expression, her face, and her whole being has shifted, with the falling away of the debilitating trauma reactions that she describes—and that many will find familiar—using the tools she suggests. Lynn’s is a voice you can trust, laying it all out in a simple yet profound approach to changing one’s relationship to thought, and seeing how it can both contribute to and exacerbate the experience of trauma.
She has willingly and courageously walked the walk; so now she can convincingly talk the talk. Anyone who has lived through trauma (who has not?) would benefit from her kind and skillful guidance. She has been in the combat zone and come back to report the way out. Let Lynn show you a less constricted way to feel, to see, to be. You can feel the invitation to, and from, an easefulness in her words, coming from an equanimity that she has discovered and unveiled, and that is available to all. Lynn knows whereof she speaks. It is peace she offers, with a smile.
Endorsement by Fiona Robertson, author of The Art of Finding Yourself: Live Bravely and Awaken to Your True Nature
Friends with Your Mind is a distillation of the wisdom Lynn has gleaned from twenty five years of meditation, mindfulness and yoga practice and teaching, along with the insights she has gained since she discovered the Living Inquiries, of which she is a Senior Facilitator. Touching on a wide range of topics, including healing from trauma, fear of flying, and body shaming, Lynn describes how even intense feelings and disturbing thought patterns can be unwound when we know how to do so safely. She offers nuggets from her inspiring personal journey, an understanding of how our minds and bodies operate, and guidance and resources on how to work with thoughts and feelings in an effective way. She demonstrates that it is possible for us to finally have compassion and love for ourselves, our bodies and our minds.
Endorsement by Jerry Katz, Nonduality.org
All I can say is, this book works. Lynn writes from the space of deep breaths about her own traumas. The reader comes to view their own traumas from that space. At the same time, Lynn is offering release, resolution, and healing. In other words, you will feel safe with Lynn. If you are ready to face the deeply held and constantly emerging sensations and feelings associated with painful memories and thoughts, by all means read this book. Just be sure you are ready, because the journey toward healing is a challenge, and like I said, this book works.
Endorsement by Chad Sewich, The Kiloby Center for Recovery, Inc.
After I had my “awakening”, I had a deep sense of peace. I felt I had finally figured it all out. But then came uncertainty. My endless runaway thoughts turned into questioning why anything mattered at all. Fortunately I had Lynn to help guide me and see that all my thoughts about the meaning of life were just new stories my mind was telling.
In her new book, Lynn brings an anchor of clarity to a stormy sea of thoughts that our minds are always trying to churn up. Along with real-life examples of how our minds tend to race out of control, Lynn uses clear and simple techniques to help us finally get out of our heads and into the moment. Her kindness, compassion and desire to help are evident in every page.
Endorsement from Fiona Murphy, Clinical Social worker, Certified Living Inquiries Facilitator
This book, Making Friends with your Mind, lives up to its name! With simple, practical and easy to follow suggestions, Lynn takes the reader through the process of how to change our relationship to thoughts, and how we can free ourselves from the tyranny of our thinking.
I love that these techniques are so easy to implement.
Lynn speaks from experience, and her dedication and compassion in assisting people to free themselves, is boundless.